23 mrt You do YOU,
An article inspired by Sarah Knight, author of F**ck NO! A follow up. Because I can’t stop encouraging people to start doing what they want and hyperfocus on what they’re good at. Setting yourself up for succes at what’s most important to you. Now that’s an achievement!
Fewer things means an increase in saying ‘NO’
We all know that you’ll be able to focus better on fewer things. Distinguish in order to create focus. Because guess what .. Sometimes happiness looks like telling people no and doing you. Which can be challenging if you are a: People-Pleaser, an Overachiever, FOMO’er or a Pushover. And from this point on you are about to discover which one is most applicable to you.
The People-Pleaser; You say yes when you want to say no because .. You hate to disappoint others. You feel obligated. You want people to like you and don’t want to be rude. Guilt haunts you. You’re a uhmm .. Legit nice person who sometimes is too nice for your own good.
The Overachiever; You might as well be the one to do it because you’ll do it best. You enjoy getting credit. You’re competitive with others and always looking to outdo yourself, so you take on extra assignments, elaborate projects, and insane daedlines like you’re sitting on the world’s largest supply of Red Bull. Your desire to totally crush it sometimes means YOU get totally crushed.
The FOMO’er; You are afraid of what might happen if you don’t. When you choose you, you know for certain you miss out on other option. The question mark that gets born out of choice, right? You feel like there’s something wrong with you for not wanting things that other people want. You’re ruled by regret.
The Pushover; You dislike confrontation. You prefer the path of least resistance. You’re low on willpower and indecisive most of the time. You get side-tracked easily. You just ‘go with the flow’ right over the edge of the falls.
I object, Your Honor!
What would it feel like if you’ll eliminate anxiety about your choices and be more confident in them? Being able to follow through on your goals instead of getting side-tracked. When you STOP giving inches and therefore save many miles. It’s OKAY to push back. Does saying ‘no’ bring you discomfort? Well, train yourself to get past that. Recognizing which one of all four is most applicable is the first step to RESISTING them. After all, how can you change your mind-set if you don’t even know the current calibrations?
If you WANT to say no but can’t find the words,
It will be Sarah’s pleasure to put them in your mouth. “Personally, the more I’ve practiced, the more comfortable I’ve become with a short, sweet reply vs. a long, drawn-out explanation.” Sarah will show you many ways of how to say no and while reading her book you’ll discover ways to become tactical. For example the NO-and-switch, which boils down to saying no to one thing but offer an alternitave thing YOU prefer.
BE the NO you want to hear in the world
Sarah is on a mission, which I can only admire. “My goal has always been for you to develop a new appreciation for no from all sides. The more we issue and receive thoughtful, necessary no’s, the more we’ll experience relief and less guilt, leading to more pleasurable and less onerous interactions.”
The JOY of NO
“Learn it. Live it. And for fuck’s sake: SAY IT. You’ll be glad you did.”
Bron: Sarah Knight – F*ck NO!