If we’d all fit inside some multiple-choice question,

Life would be extremely boring if you’d ask me. Isn’t it beautiful that we’re all different? Yet at the same time this is exactly the biggest challenge for people or should I say humankind. Humanity. Mandkind. HUMANKIND. Noun to: ‘Human beings considered collectively’. Kind as in having or showing a friendly, generous and considerate nature .. Well, that’s what it lacks nowadays.

Even when situations and chemistries didn’t change, perspectives could

“What would you say to someone who claims that nonbinary gender identities aren’t real? What do you think of people who say: man or woman, that’s all there is, pick one?” .. Two striking questions I read a couple of months ago during Pride month, on a bench in New York City, while watching a group of friends perform their act for Pride Parade. I admired all of them and instantly thought about my cousin and my best friend, who are gay too. 

To be yourself is truly a revolutionary act,

Jeff Garvin, the writer of ‘Symptoms of being human’, explained why he wrote the book. At a particular dinnerparty he witnessed no one taking a stand while talking about a trans girl who got assaulted. He waited for one of his friends to object, or at the very last, to defend the trans girl, but no one did. She had probably provoked the entire situation, was the final perspective. At that particular moment Jeff figured that people are complicated. Messy. ‘Symptoms of being human’, an inspiring book with a beautiful message.

Am I a boy, or am I a girl?

Well, I got to know Riley (the main character in the book) not as a ‘boy’ character or a ‘girl’ character or a ‘transgender’ character, but as a human being. For too long we have been living with a ‘the first thing we want to know about one another is boy or girl?’-mindset. It’s a hot topic. And if you’d ask me, it should stay a hot topic. Because what on earth have we been doing when we know for a fact that hermaphroditism exists. Raven van Dorst was on a mission too, a couple of years ago, while filming the Dutch documentary ‘gender!’ (Dutch: Geslacht!)

Sometimes just to say your own truth out loud is enough to find others like you,

Everything is communication and so to be able to communicate about all kinds of topics, what does that demand of you as an individual? I guess to give the unknown a huge hug. To actually become aware that ‘not being informed’ is the dumbest excuse there exists. Newsflash, we live in a world where we carry an encyclopedia with us. Knowledge is out there, for free. And we adore free things, right? It demands of us that we become aware of ignorant statements and mirror them as much as we can.

How wrong I had been,

Is what it demands. To actually admit, every once in a while, that you don’t carry all the wisdom within you. That your perspective isn’t always the right one. That you spoke with certainty about things that you could never imagine.

I wish I had some all-encompassing wisdom to give you,

But I don’t. I just want to startle things with these words. Create some sort of awareness during this three-minute read. Throughout the years I came to the understanding that I can only speak for myself and never for others. I came to the understanding that my “I understand” primary reaction most of the times was useless. Acknowledgement can be a powerful thing. To actually acknowledge that our primary reaction depends on the perspectives we carry within us and that our own truth will always influence our primary reaction is key. When you are only able to see the truth if it is close enough to your own reality and speak with certainty about things that you could never imagine .. Dialogue is off the table.

Curiosity is the beginning of wisdom .. The most powerful thing you own


“They’ve been through a lot, and it hurts. I want everything I’ve been through to make sense. I want the pain to have meaning. I want it to change something. But the truth is, feelings don’t change anything. To change something, you have to say things out loud. Do things. Take chances. Take a stand.”